Domestic Violence Awareness Month
Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Understanding Trauma and Reclaiming Healing Through Somatic Therapy
October marks Domestic Violence Awareness Month, a time not only to raise awareness about intimate partner abuse but also to bring light to the long-lasting, often invisible wounds that survivors carry well beyond the end of the relationship.
As a relationship therapist and trauma-informed practitioner, I’ve walked alongside many survivors as they navigate their healing journey. One truth that remains consistent across all stories is this: domestic violence leaves a lasting imprint — emotionally, physically, neurologically, and relationally. These imprints don’t simply vanish with time; they require safe, intentional, and compassionate care to heal.
This month, I invite you to not only acknowledge the existence of abuse in our communities but also deepen your understanding of what trauma does to the body and mind, and how healing is possible, especially through trauma-informed and somatic approaches.
Understanding the Trauma of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is far more than bruises or broken bones. It’s important to recognize that abuse often occurs in insidious, non-physical forms, including:
Emotional manipulation
Verbal degradation
Financial control
Sexual coercion
Gaslighting and psychological abuse
Isolation from friends and family
Control over decision-making and autonomy
Because some of these forms of abuse don’t leave visible marks, many survivors question whether their experience “counts” as abuse. Let me be clear: if your relationship left you feeling unsafe, unseen, controlled, or diminished — it counts.
How Trauma Manifests
Survivors of domestic violence often struggle with symptoms of complex trauma — a type of trauma that results from prolonged, repeated exposure to harm, especially in relationships where there is an imbalance of power and control.
Some of the most common trauma responses I see in survivors include:
💔 Hypervigilance: always being on edge, scanning for danger, or feeling like the next emotional explosion is just around the corner.
💔 Dissociation: emotionally numbing out, spacing out, or feeling disconnected from your body.
💔 Difficulty trusting: finding it hard to feel safe with others, even in safe environments or relationships.
💔 Guilt and shame: blaming yourself for “letting it happen,” staying too long, or “not being strong enough.”
💔 Confusion around boundaries: struggling to say no, tolerate closeness, or recognize when your boundaries are being violated.
💔 Low self-worth: internalizing messages of worthlessness or failure instilled by an abusive partner.
These responses are not weaknesses or character flaws. They are survival mechanisms. Your nervous system did what it needed to do to protect you.
The Nervous System and Abuse: Why Trauma Isn’t “All in Your Head”
When we experience abuse, our bodies go into survival mode. The autonomic nervous system (the part of the body that regulates fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses) kicks into gear to keep us safe.
Over time, especially in abusive environments, the nervous system can get “stuck” in these protective states. Even after the relationship ends, the body may continue to operate as though danger is still present.
This is why survivors often say things like:
“I know I’m safe now, but I don’t feel safe.”
“My new partner is kind, but I keep pulling away.”
“I can’t relax. I feel like something bad is always about to happen.”
Trauma is not just a psychological wound, it’s a physiological state. And to truly heal, we have to work with both the mind and the body.
What Is Trauma-Informed Therapy?
Trauma-informed therapy is an approach that understands, respects, and centers the lived experiences of trauma survivors. It recognizes that trauma affects every aspect of a person’s life, not just thoughts and emotions, but relationships, behavior, memory, identity, and body awareness.
A trauma-informed therapist does not push, pathologize, or make assumptions. Instead, they:
Prioritize safety (emotional, physical, and relational)
Respect client agency and choice
Work collaboratively, never coercively
Acknowledge the social and systemic roots of abuse
Move at a pace guided by the survivor, not the therapist’s agenda
Trauma-informed care is about meeting people where they are, and offering curiosity, compassion, and co-regulation instead of judgment or pressure to "move on."
The Role of Somatic Therapy in Healing After Abuse
While talk therapy offers essential insight, validation, and reflection, healing from trauma, especially relational trauma, often requires more than words. That’s where somatic therapy comes in.
Somatic therapy is a body-centered approach to healing that helps survivors:
Reconnect with their body’s signals
Release stored trauma or tension
Cultivate internal safety
Rebuild a sense of agency and empowerment
At Kitchen Table Psychotherapy, I integrate gentle somatic practices like:
Body awareness exercises – noticing where tension lives in the body
Breathwork – regulating the nervous system through intentional breathing
Grounding and orienting – helping clients locate safety in the present moment
Mindful movement – using small movements or stretches to process and release emotions
Sensory integration – using therapeutic and self-directed touch to support nervous system regulation (if appropriate)
When trauma lives in the body, the body must be part of the healing process. This work doesn’t require rehashing the trauma story. It simply invites the body to feel, move, and heal — slowly, safely, and at its own pace.
Reclaiming Your Story
To anyone reading this who is in an abusive relationship, healing from one, or somewhere in between:
You are not broken. You are brave.
Whether you’re in the thick of survival, just starting to unpack the past, or rebuilding a life on your own terms, your healing is valid. There is no timeline. There is no “right way” to recover.
Healing is not about returning to who you were before the abuse. It’s about reclaiming your body, your voice, your sense of self, and becoming someone even stronger, wiser, and more embodied.
Every step you take, no matter how small, is a radical act of self-love and resistance.
Domestic Violence Awareness: How You Can Help This Month
While Domestic Violence Awareness Month shines a spotlight on this issue each October, our advocacy and awareness must extend beyond a single month. Here are some meaningful ways to contribute:
🖤 Educate Yourself – Learn the signs of abuse, including emotional and financial abuse, which often go unnoticed.
🖤 Share Resources – Know where to point someone who might be in danger. National and local hotlines, shelters, and therapy directories can save lives.
🖤 Support Survivors – Believe them. Listen without judgment. Avoid asking “why didn’t you leave?” Instead, say, “I’m here for you.”
🖤 Donate to or Volunteer with Local DV Organizations – These organizations often operate on tight budgets and rely on community support.
🖤 Examine Your Own Relationships – Reflect on your boundaries, communication patterns, and how power and control show up in your life.
🖤 Advocate for Trauma-Informed Systems – Whether in schools, workplaces, or healthcare, push for policies and practices that acknowledge and support survivors.
Ready to Begin Your Healing Journey?
If you are seeking a space to safely explore your trauma, rebuild trust, and reconnect with your body and self, I invite you to reach out. At Kitchen Table Psychotherapy, I offer a warm, trauma-informed, and somatic approach to healing that honors the complexity of your story.
You don’t need to have everything figured out to begin.
If you feel a quiet knowing in your body that it’s time to heal — or even a whisper of curiosity — that’s enough.
Contact me at nikki@kitchentablepsychotherapy.com or visit my website to learn more about how we can work together.
Your healing matters. Your story matters. And you deserve to feel safe, whole, and free.
Resources for Immediate Help
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact:
National Domestic Violence Hotline – 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org
Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) – 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)
Help is available. You are not alone.